


Until You're In My Arms Again

by orphan_account



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Made Myself Cry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Is it… scary?” Marvin asked slowly. Whizzer knew what he was referring to, they both knew that Marvin would most likely follow the same fate after Whizzer.Whizzer looked over at Marvin, the tears cascading slowly down his face. Whizzer would cry too if he only could.________"Maybe, I am the sun, and you’re the moon.""But even they can be seen together in the same sky sometimes."Until I see you again; I love you.________wrote some angst of Whizzer and Marvin dying
Relationships: Jason & Marvin (Falsettos), Jason & Whizzer Brown, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75





	1. The Drip Finally Stops

**Author's Note:**

> woop there it is

The frigid draft of air wafted through the stark hospital room, the beeping of the heart monitor being one of the only steady reminders of life in the small room. The only other clue being the soft sniffles adjacent to the hospital bed. 

Whizzer’s frail bony fingers gripped the slender ones of his lover. He could feel himself slipping slowly, it was calm and quiet. He felt at ease for the first time in months.

Marvin looked up at him from the chair next to him. His blue eyes glistened with tears. He looked tired, and depleting. 

“I’m sorry Marvin.” Whizzer whispered, the phrase went so much deeper than just about dying on him.

“No, no, it’s okay…” Marvin comforted, grasping his hand tighter as if Whizzer would blow away if he let go. 

Whizzer tried to sit up, for one finale time, causing Marvin to jump up quickly to assist him, every bone in his body ached like there was no tomorrow. Whizzer reached into a little pocket in his scratchy robe, from it he presented a folded piece of paper.

Whizzer held it out to Marvin, “When I'm gone… after my funeral and all that, give this note to Cordelia. She’ll know what to do with it.”

Marvin nodded slowly, tucking the note into his jean pocket. He gulped back the heavy feeling in his throat, willing himself not to cry. Whizzer scooted over on the hospital bed patting the spot beside him. Marvin sank down onto the spot, the two of them laying back down, as they stared at the speckled ceiling and the bright fluorescent lights.

“Is it… scary?” Marvin asked slowly. Whizzer knew what he was referring to, they both knew that Marvin would most likely follow the same fate after Whizzer.

Whizzer looked over at Marvin, the tears cascading slowly down his face. Whizzer would cry too if he only could. 

“No. I’m comfortable. I’m okay,” Whizzer lied, “It’s just how it is. All good things must come to an end. We all die eventually, it’s just a matter of how, and when. This, this is my grand ending, my personal little finale.”

Marvin looked over at Whizzer, both of them sported somber looks. Whizzer smiled softly, the corners of his eyes wrinkling like they always used to. 

“So… I’ll see you there?” Marvin asked so quietly that had Whizzer been slightly farther he would have missed it.

“No. Not where I’m going.” He replied, Whizzer visibly shivered at the thought, “If there is a heaven out there, then I’m sure as hell not getting in.” 

Marvin chuckled softly, void of any actual joy. He wrapped an arm around the frail man, happy to be able to touch him these last few times.

“I wish… I wish I was different. I-If I Hadn’t been su-such an ass-hole,” Marvin voice wavered, “If I hadn’t w-wasted so… so much t- time. You wouldn’t be h-here.” 

Whizzer shook his head ever so slightly, “Don’t blame yourself Marv. This is no one's fault… “ 

Marvin let out a choked sob, burying his face in Whizzer’s boney shoulder. Whizzer cradled Marvins head with his hands, he gently carded through the tangled knots. 

“Marv… tell Jason, that I am so, so proud of him. And that I love him, can you do that for me?” 

Marvin sat back up, concern gathering on his features, he nodded slowly. Whizzer reached up, cupping Marvin’s face as gently as he could, Marvin placed his own hand on whizzer’s.

“And Marvin… I love you… I always have… I need you to know that, okay? Keep going. For me. For your poor old boyfriend.” Whizzer’s eyes began to close.

Marvin shook his head, his breathing becoming erratic, “No no, Whizzer I don’t understand I-”

“Shh,” Whizzer hushed him, his arm dropping from Marvins face, “Good bye… Marvin.” Whizzer whispered.

“No no no no no!” Marvin yelled, he sprang up pressing the emergency call button. He watched Whizzer fade away completely till there was only a body left, he could distantly hear the heart monitor flat lining. In mere seconds doctors rushed in, ushering Marvin out of the room. He slid down the white walls of the hallway, sobbing harder than he had in years.

________

It was exactly four months after the funeral. Pitifully, life went on. It continued going. Days passed, people on the streets went about their days like it was nothing. As if one four months ago, one of the most important lives in Marvin Cohen’s life hadn’t died.

Marvin was sitting inside his dim apartment folding his laundry when a small slip of paper fluttered out of his jean pockets. He cocked his head to the side in confusion as he bent over slowly to pick it up, he unfolded the now water damaged paper seeing only old ink smudges, it was eligible at this point. Marvin shrugged, leaving it on the coffee table as he continued folding the clean garments.

________

Ten months later, it had been a little over a year since his lover’s untimely passing. Marvin stared up at the speckled ceiling just like he and Whizzer did, all that time ago. Only this time, Marvin didn’t even cry. He wasn’t sad, or even mad, he was just… in pain, metaphorically and physically. 

Marvin heard the door crack open slowly, a pair of heels clicking on the vinyl floors. He glanced over at the door, seeing a poofy head of blonde hair peek out from behind it. Marvin sat up as quickly as he could, wincing in pain.

Cordelia grimaced, she walked in slowly carrying a box with her “Hey Marv, how ya’ feeling?” she sat on the hard chair to the left of him.

“Like utter shit.” Marvin laughed, similarly to last time it was void of any joy.

Cordelia swallowed hard, “I brought something for you.” 

Marvin looked at her quizzically. 

“It’s from, Whizzer. He told me to give this to you, after the funeral, you were supposed to give me a note… to remind me.” Cordelia whispered, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

Marvin gave a nod of recognition, he remembered that now. That was what that slip of paper was for.

Cordelia handed the box over, “Well, here it is now. I’ll wait outside, give you a minute alone.”

Marvin nodded, lifting the lid of the box slowly, on top was a red envelope, addressed to Marvin in Whizzers neat scroll. He let out a sigh in an attempt to calm himself, he tore open the letter slowly and deliberately. Inside was a cream colored piece of paper, Marvin’s breathing hitched as he began to read the letter.

_ Dear Marvin,  _ _ September 28th 1981 _

  
  


_ I am not very good at writing, nor am I very poetic. I hope you saved this for a rainy day, as it is most fitting. At the time you are supposed to be reading this (given Cordelia gives you this box) It should be a few days after my passing, if not I assume you’re in the hospital, ~~in that case how are the ice chips?~~ I hope you’re doing better than I was. I'm not very good with feelings, but you obviously know that. Before I had met you, I didn’t even know what those were with all my sleeping around. I was stuck. And then, we miraculously met at the same bar, I’d like to think it was some weird twist of fate type shit. I remember you were wearing that hideous blood orange square tie. ~~it was truly god awful I mean come on! A square tie?!~~ That was the best day of my life, though I didn’t know it then. I know from there it was rocky, and you probably know the story better than I do, but you brought so much love and happiness into my life. I'm gonna miss watching rom-coms with you at night, and all the cheesy ~~stupid~~ stuff, I’m gonna miss you. But ~~shit~~ life moves on, and we can’t change it. If I could rewind at try this again I would. But Life goes on, and fuck it’s painful, but it’s also beautiful, and happy. So please Keep on living, for me. And when the world decides to fuck you in the ass, ~~fuck it right back~~ remember that pain don’t repress it, embrace it because it means you feel something ~~and god knows we both could have done some good with that.~~ It’s not gonna be easy on you I know, I'm always gonna be there for you even if you can’t see me. I wish I could be there with you, to watch you and Jason grow, but I know that's impossible. Fuck its sad, but for there to be light there has to be dark somewhere right? You’re not alone, you have everything you could ever need with you. I want you to win and love and laugh, even though I can't be there (physically) because whatever you’re celebrating I'm celebrating too. I never got to tell you how much I love you enough times, If I regret anything it's that. I left some things for you here, so you can remember the times we had together. You will get through this, because you are strong, and smart, and beautiful and I believe in you. No matter where I am I will always love you, and that will never change. _

_ "Maybe, I am the sun, and you’re the moon."  _

_ "But even they can be seen together in the same sky sometimes." _

_ Until I see you again; I love you. _

Marvin sobbed, wiping his tears before they could mess up the page. Setting aside the letter he grabbed the next item, a small acrylic case with pictures on it four sides. Each picture showcasing their Tight Knit family. Next was Whizzer’s only pair of silver cuff links, he cherished those like his own child. Marvin laughed at the memory. Last, was the sunglasses he wore at Jason's baseball game. He placed everything softly into the box. It wasn’t like he could really use any of it now. 

Cordelia slowly walked back in, “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.”

________

Marvin stared at what was left of his family. He smiled genuinely at all of them, never had he ever felt so much love for people in his life like he did now. 

“Hey Jason, see that box over there? When I’m gone, it’s all yours. Save it for a rainy day.” Jason nodded silently. Marvin had added a few of his own belongings and a letter to Jason, he wanted to pass down the tradition started by Whizzer.

Marvin held out his arms, asking to hold Jason. The young boy complied, as he began to cry quietly into Marvin’s shirt. Trina turned away attempting to muffle her own sounds of despair.

Marvin stroked Jason's hair, which was similar to his own. Curly and wild. Marvin let go of Jason, lying down fully. He addressed everyone in the room, making eye contact with each, before saying “I love all of you. I know I had a shit way of showing it, but I love you guys.” with that, Marvin closed his eyes, he couldn’t watch Jason’s crestfallen face. At this moment Marvin just wanted to drift, and go out like a burned out candle. Quiet, calm, and happy, but most importantly surrounded by the people he loves most.

________

When Marvin seemingly woke up, He didn’t know where he was, it was clean and open air for miles. An ocean of green plain stretched out beneath him, it was beautiful. Marvin was dressed in one of his favorite button up shirts and jeans, which were subsequently Whizzer’s favorite as well. 

_ Whizzer. _

Marvin looked around for a sign of his lover, and behold just yards away stood Whizzer. Marvin let out an audible gasp. He began walking closer, before running full on. Whizzer met him halfway, scooping Marvin up into a warm embrace and spinning him around. They kissed like they never had kissed before. 

Marvin pulled back, staring at Whizzer. “So were-”

“Dead?” Whizzer finished, “Yeah. Hey look at that! We both made it to Heaven!” Whizzer cheered.

Marvin rolled his eyes and kissed Whizzer again, his hands cupping Whizzers Jaw. The two men began crying softly, the tears of joy were plentiful and heavy. Whizzer pulled away turning to the side to face the long stretches of green that lay ahead.

He held out his elbow, “Shall we?” 

Marvin linked his arm with Whizzer’s, “We shall.”

________


	2. The Very Last Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im crying rn so here ya go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short n sweet.

**_June 24th, 2001_ **

Jason sat with his beloved Wife Heather in their living room as they watched their seven year old son play with his Hot Wheels toy. They had decided to name their first son David Whizzer Cohen, David being the name Marvin had wanted to name Jason. It seemed like centuries since Marvin and Whizzer passed, they had missed  _ so _ much. Jason was now a thirty three year old man, with a wife and child and a job in the medical field. Jason smiled down at his son, who had wild curls like his father, and was small and delicate just like his grandfather. David resembled his mother in many ways too, round cheeks and bright green eyes. Jason looked over to Heather, whispering a quick ‘I’ll be right back’. He quietly made his way over to his shared bedroom and into his small closet, at the very back sat a very important box. Jason lugged it back over to their warm living room, setting it down on the floor in front of the couch and lifted off the dusty lid. In it sat all the most important possessions from Whizzer and Marvin. The legacy of the lost members of his tight knit family. Jason swallowed the lump in his throat, pulling out the two letters out from the box first, he remembers reading them all those years ago after he lost Marvin. He set them aside for later as he pulled out another envelope full of Polaroids. Jason sat next to Heather and David and held out a photograph of Whizzer and Marvin together on their first real date.

“Look David,” Jason started, “these are your Grandpa’s, that’s Whizzer who you’re partially named after, and look there’s your other Grandpa Marvin.” 

“Whizzer’ and Marvin!” The young boy repeated, causing his father to smile brightly.

Heather smiled brightly at her two men. Though one of them wasn’t quite a man. 

“They love you very much, David. They are so proud of you. And guess what? They are watching you up there.” Jason pointed toward the ceiling.

“In Heaven?” David’s eyes were wide with wonder.

“Yes, and they are sitting together watching you right now. They’re your Guardian Angels.” Jason said, swallowing the lump in his throat once more.

“Wow!” little David gasped, “Hi Whizzer’! Hi Marvin’!” he waved at the blank ceiling. Even though David was young he was talkative and brilliant.

Jason laughed, looking over at Heather who nodded and left to give the two privacy. He sat closer to the young boy and pulled out another picture, this time of Marvin and Whizzer holding each other.

“Do you know what the most beautiful thing in the world is?” Jason asked his son. 

“Mommy!” David announced, obviously proud of his answer.

Jason chuckled, “Yes, Mommy is  _ very _ beautiful. But the  _ most _ beautiful thing in life is love. Love is beautiful, your Grandpas loved each other very much.” Jason's voice cracked slightly. 

“Like you love Mommy?” David asked. David was born with a naturally open minded thought process and was quick to accept anyone.

“Yes! Their love was special, one way or another they always ended up with each other.” Jason responded seriously.

“Are they married?” David asked.

“In a way yes. They wanted to be, but no they never got to.” He responded sorrowfully.

“Why not?” The seven year old asked.

“It… was against the rules that year.”  _ And it still is.  _ Jason shuffled to the next photo, one of their entire tight knit family on the day of his Bar Mitzvah. “This was on my birthday, they threw a big party for me in the hospital,” Jason exaggerated, “There's Grandma Trina and Grandpa Mendel, and Auntie Charlotte and Cordelia, they send you gifts on christmas.” 

“Why were you in the hospital? Did you break your arm? Cause’ Carly in my class broke hers and went to the Hospital.” David asked quickly.

“No no,” Jason laughed, “Your Grandpa Whizzer was in the Hospital. He was very sick that day.” Jason responded softly.

“Is that how he…?” David asked quietly, sensing the sadness from his father.

“Yes…” 

“What happened to Grandpa Marvin?” David asked, looking up at his father with large green eyes.

“He got very sick as well.” Jason answered.

“What does the letter say?” David asked, picking it up.

Jason grabbed it gently from his son, opening it up slowly. He cleared his throat and began to read it out loud.

_ Dear Jason, _

_ I hoped I would never have to write this letter. But that's naive and you know that better than anyone in this room. I'm sorry I never talked to you about this sooner, I didn’t want to admit I was going to die to you. You’re smart, and I know you already know that. I'm sorry I never got to give you the best childhood, what happened is my fault and I'm sorry I put you through all that shit. No, i'm not crossing that out. You’re mature and old enough to hear those words now, it's crazy how old you’ve gotten. How much you’ve grown and changed is sad, and I wish you would just grow down a little (share some of your height with your old man.) I wish I had been different to you, I wish I could turn back time and do it all over again. (silly right?) Lifes a crazy game, that hurts like hell, and will knock you off your feet only to kick you again, (like some psycho monopoly) but never stop playing. Because life is so precious and I wish someone had told me that, let me know that life is one in a million and playing that game is the highest honor. Keep on growing, keep on living, and keep on playing the game. And when it gets tough and you feel like ending the game, play through it because I promise it will be worth it, don't give up on the game. Speaking of games, I hope you do well at your next baseball game, I'm sorry Whizzer and I can't be there to see it in person. I have apologized a lot haven't I? Well, thank you for being the most amazing son a father could ask for. You brought joy into my life, though I couldn't bring much joy to yours could I? You were my biggest inspiration, you were the reason why I wanted to change. Before I go, please go easy on your mother, she won't admit it but she's more tired more often now and she's stressed too, god knows that i was never any help. Tell her that I'm sorry for all that I ever put her through and I'm happy that she has found happiness with Mendel. Make sure she doesn’t cry over me (though I would never expect her to) but if she does make sure that she forgets about me quickly and moves on happily, (all this death and worry can not be good for her blood pressure.) Whatever you do I will always be proud of you and I love you so much. Here's your chance to march to your own song, and whatever you do, don't do what I did. I hope you pass down some of these things I left for you to your children, and keep this new tradition going. Lastly, I hope that you find someone to love with all your heart. Someone who makes you infinitely happy, because love is beautiful, unkind, and can tell millions of stories.  _

_ I wouldn't change what happened for the world. Love, your father, Marvin. _

Jason finished reading, obviously avoiding the swearing bit. Nonetheless tears were gathering in his eyes. He looked down at his son and saw his own face in Davids. Jason wrapped his arms around his son, burying his face in his hair. 

**_“This is where we take a stand; Welcome to Falsettoland.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye ye happy pride month. they day that this takes place is on the day of a pride parade in 2001 thought i should say that. im not in the best of moods so ya but here i wanted to finish this fic and now seemed like a good time.
> 
> keep yourselves safe, thank you for reading, it means a lot. 
> 
> -Alex

**Author's Note:**

> take it or leave it. im going through a small rough patch so i wrote some angst as my form of venting.


End file.
